|
— Everyone chooses someone over me.
(Source: anntrannn) (Source: robbstarksscrunchyface) "Perhaps not to be is to be without your being,
without your going, that cuts noon light like a blue flower, without your passing later through fog and stones, without the torch you lift in your hand that others may not see as golden, that perhaps no one believed blossomed the glowing origin of the rose, without, in the end, your being, your coming suddenly, inspiringly, to know my life, blaze of the rose-tree, wheat of the breeze: and it follows that I am, because you are: it follows from ‘you are’, that I am, and we: and, because of love, you will, I will, We will, come to be." Pablo Neruda
(Source: readerbeware) Pain demands to be felt. — I have come to the conclusion,
after thoughtful reading and reflection, that though I am not terminally ill, I am a grenade. I have the potential to ruin those around me. The closer you are, the more shrapnel you’re likely to get embedded in your gut. I’m not dying from cancer, no. But I am dying. We all are, as morbid as that sounds. In my own small existence, I’ve realized 3 things: 1. Human beings wear all kinds of hats in life, often times in a rotation of what is most important to an individual person. 2. Some people wear certain hats better than others. In the literal sense, my grandpapa wore fedoras like he was Indiana Jones fresh out of Hollywood. He looked good sporting a baseball cap, but I’m quite sure he would’ve looked ridiculous in a bonnet. 3. The hats we wear or look good in are the roles we take on in life: Brother, Sister, Mother, Father, Friend, Patient, etc. Some of these roles we ‘wear’ well… others not so much. You can’t be good at everything I suppose. Your preacher could be a good preacher but a negligent father. Your sister may not always be emotionally available, but she’s a hell of a student. I’m beating around the bush - I guess what I’m trying to say is that I don’t wear a lot of hats, and of them all I’m starting to believe ‘girlfriend’ isn’t something I look good in. Admittedly I’ve only ever had one relationship, but after careful inspection of the relationships I have with guys now and in the past, I’m realizing more and more that it’s not me (like I previously thought). I used to think I wasn’t mature enough, ready, happy enough, experienced enough. Maybe I’m scared shitless of commitment and being alone all at the same time. I haven’t the faintest, but what I do know is that I’ve always been good on my own (while not completely on my own). I have family, friends, coworkerss, and other human interactions that keep me sane, but ultimately where romance is concerned… I may not fit the mold of a cookie-cutter belle. Maybe I’ll be less cynical about marriage as an institution later on in life. Maybe men will stop disappointing me. I doubt it, but I digress. I like baseball caps and headbands. I have two of my grandpapa’s old fedoras and his WWII beret. I adore being a big sister and abhor cowboy hats. I wear friendships comely enough, but at the moment I think my head is slightly too large for romance. I’m far too set in my ways, but time has a way of changing the worst of us. (Source: fassyy) |

Imagine Dragons - It’s Time